Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Not So Silent Banking

So I'm standing in line at the bank not even an hour ago... when I hear, "phr.....phrrrrrrr....fuph....fuph....fuph....fuph...fuph...fuph...fuph...
fuph...fuph...phrrrr...rrr...rrrr...rrrrrrphf!"

The cute little white-haired lady in front of me ripped the loudest longest fart I think I've EVER heard! And I'm not talking just an escaped quick toot. She must have been sitting on this one to impress the local high school football team in the locker room after the big game. We're talking at least 5.6 on the Richter scale. Remember that scene in Blazing Saddles where they're all sitting around the fire ripping them? - that was nothing! You would have had to seriously concentrate to get this kind of tone and depth. This one reverberated like one of those hot-rod cars zooming past you on the highway!

At first I couldn't believe it. I just stood there. Finally coming to my senses - I quickly took several steps backward and turned away to try and stifle my chuckling. Surely she must have realized what she'd just done!? I looked around but there wasn't anyone within close enough range to have heard it. It was just she and I standing in line. Everyone else was at least 20 feet away behind desks, and the tellers were deep in conversation with their customers. She had to have heard it because she didn't have any problems talking to the soft-spoken teller when her turn came. Two people walked in the main door right after the echo died down. I was still trying to keep a lid on the temptation of tapping the lady on the shoulder and asking her to fess up to the fart and say excuse me. I tried to turn my quiet snickering into a welcoming smile which I know ended up extremely goofy-looking, somewhere between a giggle and grimace of pain - leaving the the fellow bank-goers to at first return my smile which eventually turned into a "what's wrong with her?" look.

I pointed at the cute little white-haired lady's back and yelled "She just ripped the loudest fart ever! Was I honestly the only one who heard it - or is everyone playing like it didn't happen?!" into the hushed bank lobby as an explanation for my stifled-giggling-pained look.

At least that's what I wanted to do.

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2 Comments:

At 7:27 AM, Blogger Laura said...

oh MY. oh MY. oh MYYY.

 
At 9:21 AM, Anonymous Paul said...

This story is a real gasser.

 

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